You make the sky look bluer
The flowers more colourful
The mango taste sweeter
The music more rhythmic
Your smile is the most gorgeous I have ever beheld
Your laugh makes my inside glow warm with joy
Your kisses are pure and sweet
You teach me how to be happy
In awe
In delight
You are my delight
I love you more than everything
More than me, even
Your belly button is testimony to our connection
Your first home was my uterus
I wondered who you would be
I was afraid
Afraid of failing you
Afraid of not loving you
But from your first moment in this realm
The mere sight of you gave birth to a river of love
That has not stopped since
A torrent that constantly flows from my heart to yours
You are Beautiful
As your name proclaims
I want to protect you from all hurt and pain
From my grief, over your family falling apart
I have tried to shield you from my mourning
But my tears have shamelessly betrayed me
And you sweetly bring me tissues and tell me it’s going to be okay
My child. My world.
I wanted the best for you
I wanted your two favourite people together
I wanted both our hugs and kisses showered over you every day
I am sorry that I cannot give you that
I am so sorry
I tried.
I tried my best.
I wanted you to walk with your hands clasped in each of ours.
I wanted us to both be there for you
Each day.
I wanted you to have a sibling.
A brother, a sister, a friend for life.
My womb weeps the loss of that unconceived child
Who was never born
My womb was waiting and ready to give you that.
But that’s a gift I am shackled from giving.
Forgive me.
I try to be brave and strong for you.
But the anger, the grief lurks beneath
But I breathe and say “God is sufficient for me”
This is His decree
I entrust you in His care
May He keep you joyful
Guard you from harm
Make you of the righteous
The ones who pray
The ones who remember Him
The ones who love Him
The ones who benefit others
The ones who are pure of heart
May He beautify your soul, as He has made you outwardly so
May He make you from among His saints
And grant you a good End
You are my everything, my heart.
Forgive me